Like a sore thumb

“Jut”

An original song, written and performed by me, Paul.


Lyrics:

Back when I was lonely oh I could not comprehend
Why my species had decided that I was not one of them
Got my diagnosis and I wrestled with my pain
I made friends with my weirdness, now I’m lonely just the same

But perhaps I only serve as a reminder of the truth
That not everyone is beautiful or revels in their youth
And while no one will admit it we all feel it in our guts
That while all the pieces fit so nicely
All I do is jut

I don’t know who to talk to and I don’t know who to trust
Though I’ve tried to imitate the moves the TV said I must
The glow from my small candle tells the world what I’m about
But its light reflects and redirects to something sticking out

Now I try to take into account my old proclivity
To presume that anybody’s given any thought to me
And I know that to all thoughts of hope my mind has long since shut
But that filthy fucking fact remains that
All I do is jut

Like a sore thumb

Now I’m a tolerable person, by now I’m sure you’ve found
And you can have a beer with me when there’s no one else around
But I will understand it when your real friends arrive
If you excuse yourself politely and pretend I’m not alive

I could be a great companion, and a true friend to you all
But no one responds to questions or will answer when I call
Oh how much I’d love to reach out and pull myself out of this rut
But your averted gaze confirms that
All I do is jut

Like a sore thumb

Phrases as frenetic as a moth’s flight

“Irregular Heart”

An original song, written and performed by me, Paul.


Lyrics:

Nearsight unseen
Our vitals had been phoned in
When you chose me and I chose you

Tonight it seems
I’m down to my last moment
Before this dream
Resolves into a dew

Negotiating terms in our parlay
You’ve taken all my crimes into account
I strain my ears in hopes I’ll hear you say
You’ll measure out our days by keeping count
By the beat of my irregular heart

A swarm of souls
But you stand out like a statue
It’s hard to spot the cracks within the stone

The storm, it swells
But I’m too small to catch you
And now you lie in pieces there alone

But I am here to make it all okay
Your fragments I will bring in from the cold
And when you’re reassembled, will you stay?
You’re not the same, at least now you are whole
With my irregular heart

The time signature is wrong
Maestro breaks his baton
Phrases as frenetic as a moth’s flight

The pattern’s hard to see
But soft, and listen patiently
To a love so true
That you
Could set your watch by

You caught me flinch
When you were standing right here
The kind of clue you prayed you’d never see

You took an inch
But I offered you a light-year
You’ll be damned before you let me in that deep

I know you don’t want me to get this way
But I sense your affections moving on
I must believe this love is still in play
It’s your heartbeat that makes this sound a song
With my irregular heart